


[day 3] war is the sea i swim in and the air i breathe

by ohworm (owolivia)



Series: TWDG Drabble Challenge [2]
Category: The Walking Dead (Telltale Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Daemons, Daemon Separation, Daemons, Light Angst, Mentions Of Past Characters, Tumblr Prompt, can read without knowing what daemons are but it wont make much sense, daemon resettlement, daemons not demons, hiraeth, theyre like your soul but in the form of an animal, this happens right after clem gets kicked out of new frontier, twdg drabble challenge, twdgdrabblechallenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-03
Updated: 2019-11-03
Packaged: 2021-01-21 13:29:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21300224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owolivia/pseuds/ohworm
Summary: It everything but helps when Marie scoffs at her. "It's not that hard to follow that loud sobbing of yours. Keep it up and a herd will find you as easily as I did.""I wasn'tsobbing..." Clementine mutters bitterly.
Series: TWDG Drabble Challenge [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1533608
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	[day 3] war is the sea i swim in and the air i breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Day 3 of the drabble challenge by stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale!
> 
> Prompt: "You make me laugh."
> 
> Title from His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman.

Clementine's heard of unusual terms before. Terms that were used to describe things she's never heard of, or things that she's never seen in her life. Weird phobias that didn't make sense to her, weird beliefs, things like that. But one of them stood out to her the most.

She couldn't remember the name, but she would never forget the meaning. The strange word described a feeling of homesickness, homesickness for a home you cannot return to. Grief for lost places that no longer existed. 

Clementine never understood. No matter how many times Marie told her, "some people lose their homes, some have to move away, some get lost," she could never fully grasp the concept. She always had a place to return to, after all. The door was always unlocked, her mother's hands always spread open wide, her bed always inviting and comfortable. Her treehouse was always right there, her goldfish pressed up against the glass staring at her. She never felt unwelcomed. But as she lays in the wet grass, clothes sticking to her skin, hair dirty and tangled, she understands.

She understands more than she ever could. 

The sudden feeling of that homesickness hits her fast and without warning. Before she knows it she's sitting up, breath fast and irrational, hands trembling and heart pounding. There's a weird pain in her chest that she hasn't felt before, not really. A feeling of true hopelessness, loneliness, feeling like she's alone for real this time. No goal, no intention, just... there. Existing. No use going back to fight for AJ - he was probably already dead anyway. 

She pats the ground around her blindly, looking for the dirty old backpack that her belongings were in. Her gun, her knife, her flannel... but she doesn't feel the leather anywhere. In fact, it's not there at all. It never was. She doesn't remember putting it down. Did she lose it? Unless...

"Fuck," she breathes. She forgot it in her tent.

No, not _her_ tent.

_Their_ tent. It was no longer hers. 

God, why didn't she grab the backpack _before_ stealing that medicine? She was without a single weapon. Completely unarmed in a forest probably filled with walkers she hasn't spotted yet. What the fuck was she going to do _now_? How was she going to protect herself? Questions plague her mind and she tries taking deep breaths, tries calming herself down. But soon there are tears streaming down her face and she's crying, quickly wiping the tears away before realizing it was no use; they blended in with the rain anyway.

"You make me laugh," she hears a bitter voice say, a voice she's been hearing since the day she was born, but it never spoke in that _cold_ and _judging_ manner. The appearance of her dæmon surprises Clementine so much that her heart completely stops for a moment and she turns her head around to look at Marie so fast, she worries she might get whiplash.

The silhouette of the snow leopard shouldn't surprise her; she's seen it multiple times now. Whether it was a quick appearance in the middle of the forest when Clementine was collecting wood or an accidental attack on the same animal, she was aware of Marie resettling again. But Clementine still blinks rapidly and takes a second to remember that _this_ was her dæmon's form now, and she was no longer a small, fluffy fox. Clementine could no longer tease her about her white and shiny fur getting muddy and dirty and play hide and seek in the snow to chase away bad memories. A small realization hits Clementine and she narrows her eyes.

"How did you find me?" She asks, embarrassed at her shaky voice. It's so different now, so whiny. Anything but the confident(ish) and threatening voice it was a few hours ago. And it's obvious Marie notices it. A long time ago, Marie would be able to feel it; feel the awful pain and guilt that pools in Clementine's stomach and feel how much she's trying to make her voice even audible. It's so different, Clementine couldn't even hear or feel her coming, yet she was able to find Clementine _and_ see how pathetic she was without the mental link there once was. 

And it everything but helps when Marie scoffs at her. "It's not hard to follow that loud sobbing of yours. Keep it up and a herd will find you as easily as I did." 

"I wasn't sobbing..." She mutters bitterly, pulling herself up and dusting off her pants. The mud only smears on the fabric and she winces, looking up briefly and trying to figure out how much longer she'll have to endure the cold rain. 

She approaches her dæmon and studies her properly this time. She's changed so much, she's much bigger than she used to be, now almost reaching Clementine's hips. Her fur is dark and has a few white patches on it, but when Clementine looks closer she notices the occasional brown hair here and there. Her eyes are still the same, but they're much more distant and cold. Glaring at Clementine like she's a pest, an insect, an inconvenience she's ashamed of. And she kind of agrees - if she was Marie, she'd feel ashamed of being a dæmon of such a brat like her. Such a disappointment to her parents, to _Lee_, such a failure to everyone that's ever put trust in her. Such a failure of _Rebecca_, she realizes, she fucking _swore_ to protect AJ with her life and here she was, feeling sorry for herself while he was dying in the hands of The New Frontier. 

Clementine stares into the eyes of Marie with hopefulness. Expecting what she always does; expecting Marie to curl up next to her and smile, reassure her that her thoughts aren't true, that all this is just the result of all the fucked up shit she's been through. That she's worked hard and way harder than she was expected to, that she was just trying to help him, that she was just doing what she thought was best. But those things never come. The reassurances are left unsaid and Clementine hopes that she could at least _feel_ Marie's reassuring thoughts, but there's nothing. 

And even if Clementine has those thoughts in mind, they feel fake, they feel like lies, and they're definitely not enough to make her feel at least a bit better.


End file.
